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As I mentioned previously, I chose to carry on feeding Oliver past ‘the norm’, I was never really certain how long we would go for but at 18 months I kind of knew I was going to let him self wean. He had dramatically reduced the amount he fed and I knew it was only really a matter of time before he lost interest. When he stopped falling asleep at the breast I really knew that the end was coming because he clearly wasn’t getting the comfort that he used to but still wasn’t quite ready to let it go – and if I’m honest, nor was I.
I cherished every feed and when it came to the last one he was very insistent. It was almost like he knew that would be the very last time and he needed me. And it had to be then.
I remember him reaching up to stroke my hair while looking in to my eyes with the odd smile thrown in too. I stroked his hair and smiled lovingly at him as we lay snuggled up in my bed on a cold November morning.
He never asked again.
It was definitely the right time for us, we both moved on to the next phase of our lives together without any tears. We found new ways of connecting and we still cuddled lots – he still needed me, even without the milk, which was something that I had worried about.
Nine months later and I still smile when I think about it.
My body changed, my hormones levelled and I suddenly had virtually no appetite. I managed to lose weight, my cycle became more consistent and my breasts deflated a little. It’s not surprising really, when you consider that I am now less than 10 stone, which is the lightest I have been in 6 years. My body has drastically changed over the past 3 years, from being slightly overweight, to 9 months pregnant to then losing the baby weight and more on top of the breastfeeding. There are of course parts of my body that I’m not completely happy with, I’m female after all – but I’ve had child free friends comment on how great I look; I really worried that stopping feeding would mean spaniel ear like boobs and general sagginess, but I needn’t have worried, a good diet, running after a toddler and well fitting bras has kept everything in place!
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Unfortunately with my first I only fed her for 2 weeks, but am 30 weeks pregnant now with my second and determined to make it work this time. So hopefully that final feed will be a lot later on x
Good luck with breastfeeding your second. Each baby is so different and knowledge is power, so getting to know what to expect and how to make it easier etc will likely make it easier than your first
Mine was sad, i fed twins and that in itself was pretty tricky, but managed for 5 and a half months. I so wanted to be a Mum who fed for quite a long period, but proud I did that far even with a mastitis attack and drs saying give up.
5.5 months x 2 is 11 months 🙂 Breastfeeding twins is amazing, I can't even imagine doing it with twins, one was hard enough! Well done for getting to 5.5 months!
Oh my this brought tears to my eyes, what a beautiful last feed and a wonderful memory you have of it. We haven't reached the end of our journey yet, but I am dreading it. But your post has really helped me feel more positive about it, thank you so much
I was dreading it too – I really thought that no breastfeeding would mean he didn't really need me any more, then I realise there's so much more to our relationship than breastfeeding.
I had to return to work after 6 months so had to prepare myself for the time coming
I am so lucky that I got to stay home. I'm not sure how I would have handled going back to work, although I did often leave him for weekends away and he was fine 🙂
It hasn't ended yet.
I hope the rest of your journey goes well
Awwwww … what a beautiful story. Such a serene and peacful end. So interesting that you knew whilst it was happening and was able to soak it in. I would have loved to be a fly on his mind to read his thoughts in that moment. 🙂
Thanks also for sharing the changes in your body afterwards. Your story is such a helpful read for mamas that haven't gotten to this point yet; really thanks for sharing.
I'm planning a 2 / 3 monthly linky about the mummy body, perhaps you might consider joining in; let me know if you're interested :-).
#PositiveAboutBf
Thank you! Sounds like a fab linky idea! There's so many things about the mummy body that we need to talk about!
It hasn't ended yet but I really dont want it too! My little one is 18 months 🙂
I remember feeling that way. Letting Oliver self wean definitely made it easier, I could foresee it and prepare myself and it meant my hormones gradually decreased etc. Not having any tears from him definitely helped too, and knowing it was his choice!
It feels so weird when they first stop! My eldest wouldn't breastfeed but my youngest did for 6 months x Stevie
I didn't really know what to do when he first stopped, although I can't say I wasn't happy to put away those nursing bras 😉
Oh this is such a sweet post. I'm dreading Lia self-weaning because I know I'm not going to have any more children so that really will be the end. Lia is 15 months now but still very much wants to be fed. Libby weaned at 18 months but I'm hoping that was just due to my pregnancy with Lia and that Lia keeps going a little bit longer.xx
I can imagine that would be emotional – I think knowing we will probably have more children helped the transition for me. x
what a lovely story! I'm pregnant with Twins and they due on Christmas day. im so very excited! cant wait to meet them and breastfeed my babies. im going to take a picture of first feed and last feed. never thought the lastfeed will be emotional as this! amazing story. amazing journey!
Thank you SO much for pro breastfeeding articles. they definitely boost my confident and I really enjoyed reading them. #NationalBreastfeedingWeek xx
I wish I had more photos of Oliver feeding – especially considering we spent so much of our lives together doing it. Twin feeding is always photo worthy too!! I hadn't anticipated how emotional it would be either, but I think that's part of what made it so special.
Thanks for leaving such lovely comments, it's so nice knowing as bloggers we have touched people's lives and helped them or give them someone to relate to. x
Oh no! Did she have an allergy or something? Sometimes we have to make decisions that we don't like but are for the best and this is clearly one of those times
Ah Natalie this is such a lovely account. I fed Rose for a similar amount of time and I let her self wean too. I did feel really sad about it at the time but more because she is my last baby and I knew I’d never get to do it again.
I must say I was also a bit worried about Spaniel’s ears this time too, but luckily everything has bounced back (mostly) 😉 xxx
Thanks Amy, I was shocked at how OK I felt, I ecpected to mourn the loss but it went so smoothly.
Had my bra size measured yesterday and they’re a little smaller than I’d hoped hahaha. But at least they’re in the right place!