Oliver broke my heart this evening. R is away on a stag do until Sun and he was fine waving him off this morning, he did get a bit upset but was very easily distracted. But tonight at bedtime he just cried and cried for Daddy, I really didn’t know what to do. Eventually he settled for sending a picture to him. When he eventually stopped crying he just didn’t want to let go of me and held on to my hair so tight.
I keep wondering when it’ll get easier to explain Daddy is away (he works away or overnight a lot) but that he’s coming back soon, but I can’t help thinking about how much I loved my Dad being there at bed time and snuggling me til I fell asleep. My fondest memories of childhood are when I would fall asleep next to my Dad on the sofa and when I got bigger he’d be almost falling off and I’d be wedged in tight.
My Dad was always there at night time, he came home at 6pm every night. But we don’t have that luxury with R, his work is so varied and sometimes he will have a week pretty much off, other weeks he could be in Europe or up North, or he could be doing overnight jobs in London or long days at venues. To him it is quite normal though, his Dad contracted and worked in a lot of other countries, I talk to his mum about it sometimes and she’s told me how stressful it was. We aren’t quite in the same boat, R isn’t away weeks at a time, but Oliver finds it just as hard as R and his brothers did. In one conversation R’s mum revealed that one of his brothers would be crying in the middle of the night saying he was waiting for Daddy to come home. Just heartbreaking.
I completely understand that his Dad made a choice that he thought would be best for his family. We all make tough decisions, but when I hear these stories I pray that R doesn’t get any jobs that are too far away or for too long and that he takes regular days off. He is a truly amazing Daddy and I want him to see Oliver growing up and let that bond flourish to its fullest. When Oliver sees his Daddy he just gets this look in his eye of pure love and devotion and it is magical to see.
Being a Daddy’s girl I often wonder what R would be like if we had a girl, but I get the feeling I will continue to be outnumbered in the future (when we decide to have more babies – not yet!)
|Oliver and Daddy, Oliver’s really tiny here but it looks like he’s smiling with his eyes|
|Oliver still loves cuddling up to Daddy now|