So, I told my boss about my ‘situation’ a few days ago. I was so nervous, I wasn’t sure whether it was the right time or not. I felt ill all day, and wasn’t sure if it was because of the teeny tiny person growing inside of me, or if it was purely an emotional thing. Looking back it was probably about 50/50! I waited until nobody else was around and just asked if I could ‘have a quick chat’, closed the office door and said, “I found out, a couple of weeks ago….that I’m pregnant.” They were the hardest words I’ve said in SO long! Probably about as difficult as the words “I’ve been diagnosed with depression”, which was 8 years ago! Luckily my boss was very excited! I was congratulated – even hugged! Discussed the effects, i.e. time off for appointments, the fact I may not feel well, scratch that, don’t feel well at all! All was fine, the next day the deputy congratulated me (had already discussed with boss if it was ok for him to know), discussed it a little more, about time off, how unwell I have been feeling, the fact I haven’t drunk a cup of tea for about a week and a half, when I usually have about 5 cups a day! I keep drinking orange juice instead! Having already confided in someone I work with who has a young child, I now know this is perfectly normal, and that I will probably hate fruit juice in 7 1/2 months time!
I used babycentre.co.uk’s week by week pregnancy guide. I’m now 6 weeks pregnant, and my baby is the size of a lentil….which is about the size of a pea right?! It has a heartbeat (scary stuff), and the limb ‘buds’ are forming, and so are it’s facial features! I’ve been finding it hard to be excited, or feel ‘maternal’ or attached to it cos it kinda felt like there wasn’t really anything there, except pain and sickness. But now I’ve read that, I am feeling slightly more like it’s real, and like it is a person growing inside of me.
The biggest problem I feel I am having is keeping it secret, I work with a very close knit team, and we are great friends, they always notice if I have a ‘bad day’ and such, I’m sure it won’t be too long before people notice my lack of tea drinking, and excessive juice and water drinking instead. So far I have managed to avoid any questions at social occasions about not drinking alcohol, and about how tired I look! Work can be very stressful – in fact my work schedule has been the main reason I have avoided social situations (story of my life, why change now I’m pregnant?!), or have an excuse to not drink as I have been working later that day etc.
I’m still in the dark about what I should and shouldn’t be doing at work, I’m trying to be cautious of what I’m doing, I would usually opt for some of the more manual work, I like being in the thick of things in the hotel, really getting stuck in, but I am trying to step back and take it easy. Not too much pushing, pulling, lifting or carrying of heavy objects etc.
After my chat with my boss she said she would look up what they needed to do, when they needed to do risk assessments etc, my boss doesn’t have children so is about as clueless as me!
All in all, this week has been tiring, I have slept til Lunch time most days, and am not looking forward to getting up at 6am tomorrow for work. The worry over telling my boss was really working me up too, but now they know I feel much more relaxed, like I don’t have to try and smile every time I step in to the office and sit down looking a bit ill with a glass of water, or every time I get a cramp in my tummy.
Hopefully the following weeks will just keep getting better, less confusing, and more exciting!