So, it’s pretty obvious, I wasn’t expecting a pregnancy… I have so many questions, I don’t really know the answers to, and the internet can get a little confusing.
When should I tell my boss? My job can be a little manual, and can involve standing up the whole 8 hours, when does it become bad for me..? Is it already something I need to worry about?
I get tummy cramps, like period pain…is that normal? For the first week after seeing that ‘Pregnant’ display, I was convinced that it wasn’t real and that my period was about to come because my tummy just felt ‘periody’, I even took another test, just to make sure.
My doctor didn’t really seem very useful either, I went to the GP with my boyfriend (who is very excited, but just as confused), she told me everything I’d already read on the internet, take folic acid, don’t eat unpasteurised egg or cheese, don’t eat pate or liver, and gave me my due date…6th December 2012, then told me to pick up the maternity pack, hand the receptionist a form she filled in and told me to make an appointment with the midwife, which is in 3 weeks time!!
I don’t have many close friends that have children, so I am finding it difficult to find answers to my questions. The internet is very general, like what I should and shouldn’t do throughout pregnancy…but it doesn’t really tell me what I should be doing in my first trimester, with my baby the size of a seed, is it still dangerous for me to lift heavy boxes?! I don’t feel that different, apart from the weird feeling in my tummy that I can’t really explain.
Then there’s the emotional rollercoaster, reading the facts about how many first pregnancies end in miscarriage, knowing my mother’s first did, and my boyfriend’s mother’s, and my friend miscarried a year or two ago. I find myself smiling occasionally and thinking about the future…last Christmas was my first family Christmas with my boyfriend’s huge family, this Christmas I could have a newborn baby! Life is changing, but at the same time, in 7 weeks time (I’m now 5 weeks gone), I could find out that it’s not changing at all, but I know I can’t spend the next 7 weeks worrying about that.
Then there’s the nausea, I’ve started getting that sick feeling, when I wake up I need to eat something, but just the thought of food makes me feel ill. The lack of caffeine is making me feel so tired too, though that could also be the pregnancy…when does that symptom kick in?
One of the worst things is that I feel so alone, my boyfriend is just so excited, but he doesn’t have to deal with these pains, and strange feelings inside, sometimes it’s like he looks at me and what he sees is a glowing pregnant lady, when I just feel rough, emotional and confused. He keeps touching my tummy and kissing it, it makes me feel slightly uncomfortable. And he didn’t buy me an Easter egg because I ‘shouldn’t be eating that much chocolate’.